At point BLANK!

You know there are these points in life when your existence does not seem to matter in front of social stigma. Well one such point has been the highlight of my transition from 2012 - 2013!

With one door closing a new unknown door opens...and strangely I have jumped into the unknown ... but today i just don't feel like!

I just don't know what is wrong...but there isn't anything to look forward to ... What is the purpose of existing? if i am living my terms on making others happy...how much far can i walk, balancing myself, before i feel i will lose grip over who I am. Yes I rebel...Yes i have strong opinions and yes, there are times people judge me as the weirdo... but you know what I am happy being the weirdo...that's who I am.

I don't care if you judge me, you may have an opinion about me, right or wrong, that wont change me...but dear society you can keep your old fashioned opinions about how I should lead my life to yourself...that's just not your BUSINESS!!

Even though My back is to the wall, I have no idea if I will submit to the pressures, or will I just break off everything and take off... latter is more likely,I might just give up...Just give in...to prove, that you are trying to clip my wings.

This is exhausting!... there I said it out loud... its exhausting being a freaking girl in this country...its a freak show!

"Conversations has run dry"

There comes a point with every relations where too much results in too less - where you have conversations running dry...there is nothing to talk about and yet there are so many things that need to be said...such is the paradox of every relationship. The perfect sky over your head becomes non existing and shredded to bits and you realize that everything has changed.

All of it depends of course on us whether we let that happen or whether we prevent it. I have seen so many people around me, where some see the shredded sky, and some see the sky is blue. It makes me question is it me that who is always believing that someday perhaps I will have my own little perfect sky? I think that would depend on me. Much of the time I think I write to reveal the truth perhaps not the whole truth - maybe that's why I am writing in metaphors constantly. 

This leads me to the next thing : "Trust" whether the one who will read this will get to know me a little bit perhaps, even if I might or might not be close to that person. I was trying to blog something for long and finally had the courage to write today, just coz i felt like it. I was wondering what to write about - the people at work, the people close to me, or write something on the lines of the "Delhi rape case". I realized that none of that matters, what I really wanted to share was a state of mind.

Amidst all the chaos around me, I really felt that I needed to pause and look inside me for sometime. That's when I realized that I am at a point in my life that I wanted to talk myself and for the first time I had nothing to talk to myself about. I felt really amazed that even that could be a possibility! 

Any thoughts?